How to Use Personal Concerns in Spells: A How To Guide

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Witch Bottle with Personal Concerns

What Are Personal Concerns?

When researching rootwork spells, you may hear the phrase “personal concerns” being used as an ingredient in your sympathetic magic spell.

Personal concerns are items that have some intimate connection to a target or the person you are working on. Think of them as literally or figuratively adding the DNA of the person to your spell. If you are doing a spell on someone or something other than yourself, of course, working with personal concerns is going to give you a link to that person, place, or thing and make the spell work stronger!


nail clippings are one example of a personal concern

Examples of Personal Concerns 

If you want to know specifically what personal concerns you can use in your magic, here’s a list of the most common personal concerns used in spells in order of most powerful and intimate to least powerful and least intimate. 


  • Semen, vaginal fluid or menstrual blood
  • Blood, saliva, sweat, mucous, or urine
  • Feces (for negative work)
  • Body hair or hair from the head
  • Toenail clippings, fingernail clippings or skin scrapings
  • Clothing that has been worn by the target and not washed (the more intimate and closer to the body, the more powerful)
  • Dirt from a foot print or foot track of your target
  • Handwritten signature
  • Something that was owned by the person
  • Photograph of the person

This list is not a complete list of personal concerns that are possible to use in your spells, but is a list of the personal concerns that are most commonly listed in spells throughout the ages. You may encounter other personal concerns such as teeth, ear wax, or something that the target touched, for example.

Another class of Personal Concern is graveyard dirt, that is dirt taken from the grave of someone and allows you to connect with the spirit of the deceased person.   

A similar type of magic ingredient to personal concerns can be found in taking something from a building or location to affect a spell on a place.

Footprints in dirt are another form of personal concern

When to Use a Personal Concern

Personal concerns are not just from other people. You can add your own personal concerns to mojo bags, candle spells and other spell work when you want to strengthen the ties of the benefit to yourself.

For example, if you are doing a spell to draw money and customers to your place of business, you can add a little of your own urine to a floor wash made with Abundant Prosperity Bath Crystals, or if you are carrying a Fame and Fortune Mojo Bag to draw popularity, respect and success to yourself, your career or your project, you might add fingernail clippings to ensure that work that you do with your hands draws the success.

Add someone else’s personal concerns to your spell work when you want to work on them remotely. For example, if you would like your child to succeed on a school test, you can place a piece of their hair along with your petition under a yellow Beeswax Wise Owl Candle dressed with Grand Success Oil.

You can add your personal concerns and another person’s personal concerns when you want to work on something for the both of you. For example, you can tie a strand of your hair around a strand of your lover’s hair to tie him or her to you before placing it in a honey jar spell.

One of my teachers once said that getting a piece of hair is your relationship “insurance policy” – get a piece of your beloved’s hair as soon as possible and hold it aside. You may have a great relationship and you may never need to use it, but if the day ever comes that you need to use it for a spell, you will have it. I have many clients who wish to do love poppets and honey jars and are only missing the personal concern. Yes, you can set candles and do other sorts of spell work without a personal concern but not having that piece of hair limits the kind of spells that you can do. Don’t let that be you!

You can add personal concerns to mojo bags

What If I Don’t Have a Personal Concern?

When working on yourself or someone you are close to, it is easy to get a personal concern. But what if you are working on someone who is far away or is estranged from you?  If you can’t get a personal concern, then my recommendation is to choose a type of work where a personal concern is not required.

Spell Work That Requires a Personal Concern

Examples of work that require a personal concern are honey jars and poppets or doll babies. You can most certainly try this type of work without a personal concern, but traditionally they are done with a personal concern and will have the strongest possible effect with one.

Spell Work That Does Not Require a Personal Concern

Examples of work that do not require a personal concern are candle spells, incense spells, spiritual baths and working with spiritual sachet powders or spiritual oils.

These are not traditionally done with personal concerns, though if you wish to add a personal concern to a candle spell for example, you may.

Spell Work Where a Personal Concern is Optional

Examples of work where a personal concern is optional are floor washes, vigil candles and some mojo bags. Depending on the type of working your are doing, you may add a personal concern, but it is optional and not always necessary.

So, if you have a personal concern of your target, you have the full range of choices as to the kind of work you can do.  If you do not have a personal concern, then your best bet is to choose a type of work that doesn’t require one rather than choosing one that does and, in a sense, doing it only halfway. 

If you have more questions about working with Personal Concerns, I offer magical instruction either in group workshops, in private coaching and mentoring or in my free Live Magic Q&A each week.

I also suggest checking out the books that I offer that can teach you in depth about working magically with candles, oils and herbs.

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If you’ve enjoyed this free how to guide, I’d love to invite you to get more free magical instruction sent to your email inbox! Join the Spell Squad and you’ll get a free 33-page eBook – “Seven Secrets to Supercharge Your Spellwork” plus the code to join me for my Live Magic Q&A Tea Party where you can ask your questions about magic.

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Check out my other how to practice witchcraft guides and learn how to do magic.

Ways to Know If You’ll Have a Happy Relationship

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How to Have A Happy Relationship

It’s easy to turn the other cheek when dealing with behaviors that are flaky or otherwise inconsiderate. But should you really be doing so? Or are these actions actually an indication of what kind of partner they’re likely to be down the road?

The common advice we get is that it’s just the beginning and you should give it time. That might actually be detrimental to us, though.

The way a person behaves and treats you at the beginning of a relationship can actually tell you quite a bit about their personality. If they’re hot and cold, indifferent, or playing games, those things are not likely to get better over time.

The Qualities to Look For In a Relationship

There are five overlapping qualities to look for in a successful relationship: consistency, availability, reliability, responsiveness and predictability (CARRP). These closely related qualities are at odds with the idea that we need to be mysterious or play hard to get (however misguided) in order not to appear undesirable on the dating scene.

The idea of people looking for the same interests and education to find a partner isn’t always make a relationship succeed. It is more important to look for someone who has CONSISTENCY, AVAILABILITY, RELIABILITY AND RESPONSIVENESS as well as PREDICTABILITY in addition to caring about each other.

If you know what to look for at the beginning of a new romantic relationship, you’ll be able to filter out people who aren’t right. This will save your energy and allow more time for those that are, so it’s worth it. You can better weed out the wrong partners…so you can save your energy for someone who is right.

First You Need to Learn About Attachment Styles

There are three main attachment styles – secure, anxious and avoidant. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and have less preoccupation about the relationship. Anxious is when you’re afraid that you might lose your partner or people close to them. Avoidant style can be defined as not having any feelings towards the person they’re in a relationship with while also being dismissive or indifferent to their needs and wants within that context, which can lead to resentment given time passes by.

People with a secure attachment style tend to be warm, loving, comfortable with closeness and care less about the status of the relationship. They don’t worry as much or are not as insecure in their relationships as the others. This is because they have higher confidence levels in themselves and trust their partner to support them through tough times while also providing comfort when needed.

People who have an anxious attachment style crave intimacy but need more reassurance that what they’re doing will work out for them since they can get highly sensitive to potential threats in a relationship. They may even seem needy at times.

Those with an avoidant attachment style aren’t so sure of themselves around close people and often distance themselves from these individuals. If anything it’s because proximity makes reliance on anyone else uncomfortable . Their independence is such that receiving any sort of help from someone else means giving away some power over their own life which could make them feel weak.

How to Spot a Keeper

Here are the CARRP traits you want to look for in a new relationship: They call when they say they’re going to, tell you that they like you instead of beating around the bush, they make plans for a date and stick to them. This means that this person is likely secure in their attachment style and would be an ideal romantic partner because people with secure attachments tend to make the best partners overall.

When you first start dating someone with a secure attachment style, things will flow easily. You’ll never have to wonder when the next date will be, where you stand in the relationship or if this person might leave you for somebody else. This can actually help create an increased sense of security within yourself that lets you feel more comfortable and confident no matter what your own attachment style is.

Dating a person with a secure attachment style is like having your own relationship coach who walks you through potential pitfalls and teaches you how to be more secure in relationships with others.

You can gauge whether someone has these traits very early on, even before meeting them!

How to Tell If Someone Has a Secure Attachment Style

Let’s say you matched with someone on a dating app, but then they start acting wishy-washy. At this point, stage a secure attachment intervention by saying “My schedule is very busy at the moment and I can only be available for this Friday. If that’s not good for you, then suggest something else. Let’s make it happen!”

The way a person responds to you will give you clues about whether they are likely be a good partner, and if so, what specific qualities or traits they possess.

When you ask for something directly in this way from someone, how they respond will tell you what you need to know.

If they respond well to your messages, that means you can start building a relationship with them. First off, this is an indication of how much they might be willing to align their needs and wants with yours in terms of working together on something.

If someone doesn’t respond or is being hot and cold, they are not showing secure traits and may have low interest in you. If they don’t act like their feelings for you are genuine, then it’s best to get out now. Don’t mistake butterflies when someone isn’t interested in love as excitement or love itself – it’s just a change of heart!

You’re confusing passion with anxiety. It’s a bad sign, and this should go without saying, but if you expect your date to act in ways that are secure, you need to exhibit those traits yourself too.

Does Your Partner Has An Avoidant Attachment Style?

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Do You Suspect Your Partner Has an Avoidant Attachment Style?

Do you find your partner unresponsive to your attempts at bonding or kindness? Do you suspect that your partner has an avoidant attachment style but aren’t sure. Here are the signs that they do, and how to deal with them.

What is an Avoidant Attachment Style?

Avoidant attachment is a complex psychological term that, as it suggests, is the avoidance of emotional closeness. People with this type of attachment style struggle with intimacy issues and often create situations that destroy their relationships, albeit unconsciously. They will also pull away from those who are close to them when they sense too much closeness.

Avoidant Attachment Style: The Types

Those who are Dismissive-Avoidant in their relationships tend to distance themselves emotionally from their partners. They brush feelings aside and devalue human connections.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment patterns involve a balancing act. These people want to have their emotional needs met, but fear being too close. Their attachment to their partners is inconsistent and they start distancing themselves when they feel too close to the person.

Fearful-Avoidants try to rein in their feelings, but they end up feeling overwhelmed by their worries and have emotional storms. Their moods are unpredictable, which means they have relationships with lots of highs and lows.

Then there are the Anxious-Preoccupied Avoidants. A person who has this Avoidant Attachment Style is preoccupied with his or her relationships and reads too much into social interactions. The Anxious-Preoccupied Avoidant tends to choose a Dismissive Avoidant partner, which of course is volatile.

avoidant attachment style

10 Signs That Your Partner Has An Avoidant Attachment Style

If your partner uses an avoidant attachment style to relate to you, you may recognize these behavioral patterns.

1. Avoidants Would Rather Have Casual Sex

Avoidants are more likely to prefer casual to intimate sex because of their desire to avoid closeness. They don’t want to be concerned about their partner’s feelings after intercourse.

2. People With Avoidant Personality Are Often Uncomfortable With Deep Feelings

Avoidants are people who don’t share their innermost feelings with their significant other. They value emotional independence, and they want to maintain a sense of separateness. They also fear that if they become closer to their partners, they will lose some of that separateness.

3. Avoidants Draw Distinct Boundaries

One way to identify if someone is an Avoidant is to observe how they behave in their relationships. For example, they may always want to sleep in separate rooms or might withhold important information from their partner.

4. Avoidants Are Not Very Comfortable With Intimate Situations

Some avoidants like to spend time with their partner as friends and confidants, but will pull away at any sign of closeness. They may also have a hard time being committed, preferring to keep relationships light and non-committal.

5. Avoidants Often Idealize Other Relationships

Avoidants are people who dwell on past relationships to give themselves excuses not to deal with current ones. They may also fantasize about perfect relationships so that they’ll have reasons to feel that their present partners aren’t right for them.

6. Avoidants Have a Pattern of Disregarding Others’ Feelings

When an avoidant falls in love they treat their partner like a business partner, because they feel responsible for the well-being of their significant other. They seldom share feelings and tend to be critical of their partner’s emotions.

avoidant attachment styles

7. Avoidants Are Ultra Independent

As a result, avoidant partners cherish their independence. They are firmly self-reliant and condescend to those who need others. Conversely, secure partners realize the need for both freedom and partnership.

8. Avoidants Want a Partner But Not Their Presence

Avoidants need love just like anyone else. They will miss their partners when they are not around and once their partners return, they feel trapped and want more space again.

9. Avoidants Will Send Mixed Signals

Furthermore, Avoidants tend to send mixed messages to their partners and leave them feeling confused and frustrated. They might want to move in one day, but ignore them the next.

10. Avoidant People Are Non-Committal

Avoidant people need their space and see marriage as a huge infringement on it. They simply can’t wrap their brains around the idea of commitment.

avoidant attachment can cause problems in relationships

Effects of an Avoidant Attachment Style

An Avoidant attachment style of relationship has subtle but harmful effects. Fearful Avoidants will struggle to remain close to their partners, obsessing over the idea that they are not loved. This puts a strain on their romantic relationships.

Anxious-Preoccupied Avoidants are always on the lookout for signs of rejection. They avoid intimacy with their partners, but when they are rejected they will say “I knew it! You don’t love me!” This cycle ends up being self-fulfilling prophecy, and is what destroys the relationship.

Dismissive Avoidants often have trouble expressing their feelings and therefore seek vulnerable, open partners to fill the gap. However, they can’t reciprocate their partners’ openness because of their inability to be vulnerable. Consequently, their relationships tend to suffer.

It’s no secret that people who are avoidant in relationships are prone to cheating. This is often because they want their independence and personal space.

Relating to a Partner Who Has an Avoidant Attachment Style

It’s not impossible to stay connected with your avoidant partner! Here are some tips for staying close.

First of all, avoidants often have bad relationships because they’re afraid to trust. Don’t pressure your partner into talking about their feelings. Trust them to know when and what to share.

Demonstrate that you are dependable to your Avoidant partner by doing things in small, manageable steps. These small successes will make it easier for your partner to trust you with more important information.

Don’t take it personally if your partner needs space. For most of us, we need to know what’s on our partners’ minds. Avoidants, however, will only share this information when they are ready. They will withdraw when pushed.

If your partner has an avoidant attachment style, don’t despair. You can stay close to them if you put in the effort into your relationship.

Making a Magic Love Mirror

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making a magic love mirror

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Fairest of Them All?

You Are, of Course!

There are many spells for mirror magic – everything from reversing spells to Chinese Ba Gua mirrors to mirror gazing to see one’s future spouse – but my favorite mirror spell has to be the Magic Love Mirror spell. This spell is a fantastic one for creating the foundation for inviting love into our lives.  It doesn’t matter if you have a relationship and would like to strengthen it or are looking for a new relationship or are not interested in a relationship at all, this spell will create a beautiful foundation of self-love which is the beginning of all healthy relationships. 

Use a Mirror to Magnify Intention

All mirror spells use the power of the mirror to reflect and bounce back and magnify an intention.  When we use a prepared mirror to reflect love back at ourselves, we are amplifying our ability to receive the love we desire – if you feel worthy, you will be treated well by others.

How to Make a Magic Mirror

First, get a portable mirror of some kind; it can be anything from a hand mirror to a framed mirror, but it should be large enough so that you can see your whole face but not so large that it is difficult to move.

On a night with a waxing moon (after the dark moon but before the full moon), bring your mirror outside and position it so that you see the reflection of the moon in the mirror.

Anoint your mirror with Self Love oil. Place one spot of oil in each of the four corners and one in the center, in a 5-spot pattern like the 5 on a die.

Let the mirror stay out overnight to absorb the magical moonbeams.

Locking in Your Magic Mirror

The next day, go out to get your mirror before dawn and cover it with a red or pink cloth. This piece should be something attractive to you and respectful of the magical tool that you are creating, in other words, don’t cover it with an old rag.

Repeat this process for three total nights and mornings – so your mirror soaks up the magic of the waxing moon over three consecutive moonlit nights.

On the fourth night, after the sun goes down, instead of taking your mirror outside, unwrap it in a private place inside your home to do your spellwork.

Self Love Ritual

Anoint yourself with a few drops of your love oil, applying from your feet toward your head, and then hold the mirror before you and look into your own eyes. Instead of looking with a critical mind (“Is that a pimple?” “Look at those wrinkles.”) look at yourself with eyes of love.  After a few moments, and while still looking into your own eyes, say “I love you!” to you reflection.

Repeat “I love you” about 10-20 times and then wrap the mirror up and put it away.

The next night, take out the mirror and repeat.

Do this every day for 28 days (a full lunar cycle) and you will see a dramatic turn around for the good in all your relationships, including the most important one of all – the relationship you have with yourself. 

Want more mirror magic for self-empowerment? Check out this free ebook on Mirror Magic

This article was written by Madame Pamita and has also been published on YourTango.

3 Things To Know Before Doing Hoodoo Magic Love Spells

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Before doing hoodoo magic love spells

Doing Hoodoo Magic Love Spells Can Be Amazing

I love love. Who doesn’t? When you see a happy couple in love, it can (and should) bring your heart joy. But it can also remind you of the pain that you may be feeling because you don’t have that kind of love in your life, either because you are single and wanting a relationship or because you are in a relationship that’s having serious problems.

I often talk to clients who want to use some down home hoodoo love spell magic to fix their relationship, bring back an old flame, or bring a new love into their life. While straight up love spells and positive intention can bring true love in magical ways, they may not be the solution to all complicated love situations. I have seen spells that have turned situations around in ways that no one would believe could be possible, but I have also seen spells that fall flat because the spellcaster didn’t understand three very basic concepts of love magic.

You Can’t Use Hoodoo Magic Love Spells to Make Someone You’ve Never Met Fall in Love With You

Sometimes I have clients who want to cast a spell on a famous person to make them fall in love with them. While I don’t discourage dreaming big, doing love spells to get someone you’ve never met to fall in love with you is jumping the gun. If you haven’t met the person and you don’t socialize with them, it can be practically impossible to get them to fall in love with you. First, you have to have some sort of connection to the person before you can work up to that deep and meaningful relationship. I mean, how many random strangers have you fallen in love with?

Before you do a love spell to make a stranger fall in love with you, do a spell to open up opportunities for the two of you to meet. After you have met and have made a positive impression on the object of your affection, then and only then are you in the right space to do some magic love spells on them.

To do an old-time hoodoo spell to open up meeting someone, I recommend working with Open Roads oil and orange candles. A simple spell can be done with seven orange Thick Beeswax Taper candles dressed in Open Roads oil. Apply the oil to each of the candles in an upwards motion from the base to the wick. Burn one each day in a beautiful brass candle holder over seven days. Each day, speak the intention that the two of you meet and that you hit it off. Repeat this spell once each month until the two of you make contact.

A Hoodoo Magic Love Spell Can Get You Back Together but It Won’t Change Your Problems

In my practice, I find lots of other rootworkers and spellcasters will not do reconciliation work. The simple reason is this: If the couple had problems in the relationship before breaking up, those problems are going to be there when they come back together. A merry-go-round of breakup and makeup over and over again is no fun for anyone.

When a client wants to do a reconciliation spell, I dig deeper with a tarot reading or a spirit guide session to divine what the root causes of the breakup were and advise the client as to how to solve those problems before doing any reconciliation work. For example, if the problem of the relationship was that there were miscommunications that caused heated arguments, I might advise the client to do positive communication spells before trying to get back together.

A really sweet and magic love spell with the emphasis on healing and calming the communication is a great place to start. First, get a blue Talk to Me Lips candle. Inscribe your name and your lover’s name on it and dress it with Talk to Me oil. Light it on a Wednesday and let it burn completely (while you are awake and at home to attend it). Alternatively, you could get a Speak to Me Spell Kit in blue and have the candle along with herbs, oil and step-by-step directions for doing a spell for opening up healthier communication between you and your love.

Once the communication is back on track, then doing reconciliation work has a much better chance of lasting for a long time.

Doing Hoodoo Magic Love Spells With These Three Words Will Bring Your Highest and Your Best

If you’ve done hoodoo magic love spells to bring a certain person to you and nothing seems to open the way for the two of you to get together, sometimes it’s the Universe telling you that there is something better out there for you. I have a philosophy that has really helped me to understand the Law of Attraction, manifestation and the process of co-creating, and that is that “a closed door is as valuable as an open door.”

When we meet a closed door in a magical situation and we try everything we can to open it and it still doesn’t yield to us, pay attention. When that happens to me, I take it to heart that it’s not that I’m not good enough for whatever is behind that door, but that whatever is behind that door is not good enough for me.

If you want a lover to come to you and they just won’t budge, take a moment to step back and widen your horizons a little bit. Do some long lasting attraction magic with a Come to Me Mojo Bag. As you write out your petition paper for your mojo bag, add these three magic words, “…or something/someone better.” For example, “John or someone better comes to me.” This kind of petition allows John to come to you, if he is your best, or someone else to come to you, if they are the best outcome. Adding these three words will open up the flow to your highest and your best outcomes, and isn’t that what love magic is all about?

Are you ready to do a love spell? Check out Madame Pamita’s Love Spell Kits to get started.

This article was written by Madame Pamita and has also been published on YourTango and Medium.

The Magic Love Spell Herb That Will Make You Irresistible

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Magic Love Spell Herb

Have the Sexy Confidence of a Queen

Whether you are currently partnered up with someone or are still looking for your Mr. or Ms. Right, you should aim high and expect nothing less than the best when it comes to love. When you work intentionally and decide not to settle, guess what? The Universe gives you the quality love that you are asking for.

One of the most powerful spell tools for love in many magical traditions is Queen Elizabeth Root. Queen Elizabeth Root, also known as Orris Root, is used in spells as a strong love attractor with a definite feminine energy.

Queen Elizabeth Root Is a Magical Power Herb

Its strength lies in boosting your personal power when you’re in a disempowering situation and, at the same time, giving you courage and confidence. Confidence is one of the sexiest and most attractive qualities a person can have, and this root will have you oozing the sexy confidence of a queen – someone who will only accept the very best. If you’re having relationship issues where confidence, self-love and belief in self are lacking, you will gain a huge dose of magical support by working with this powerful herbal ally.

If you want more power in your relationships or want to attract a relationship with someone who will bend over backward to please you, Queen Elizabeth Root has got you covered. However, you can also use this root to empower yourself in career and get more respect from family and friends.

Queen Elizabeth Root Smells Amazing Too!

Queen E, as I like to call it, is the root of plants in the iris family. This beautiful scented root has the aroma of delicate violets and has been used for centuries in natural cosmetics. For magical purposes, we generally use Orris Root on the body, carried, placed on an altar or sprinkled on a candle for a spell, however it is safe to ingest for most people if taken in small amounts.

Queen Elizabeth Root Comes In Lots of Forms

Queen Elizabeth comes in several forms – wholecut and sifted (a chopped chunky version), powdered and as Queen Elizabeth Root oil. Each of these has their special use:

Whole Queen Elizabeth Root

Use a whole Queen Elizabeth Root as a talisman (a magical item to be carried with you), as an ingredient in a mojo bag (a charm bag that you carry with a mixture of ingredients), as a pendulum (a tool for getting “yes or no” answers from your guides) or as an altarpiece (a magical item you place on your spiritual altar).

Cut and Sifted Queen Elizabeth Root

Use as an ingredient in a mojo bag or sprinkle around a candle spell for love or empowerment.

Queen Elizabeth Root Powder

Use as a magical sachet powder by sprinkling it on your body or on an object or roll your spell candles in the powder before lighting them.

Queen Elizabeth Root Oil

Apply the oil to yourself or to your spell candles in an upward motion or apply to an object to make it a powerful talisman.

No matter how you use Queen Elizabeth Root, whether to attract a new love, to recalibrate the balance of your current romantic relationship, or to empower yourself in other areas of your life, you will love the powerful and positive effect it can bring to your life.

This article was written by Madame Pamita and was published on YourTango and Medium.

Watch this video to see a Queen Elizabeth Root spell.

8 Incredible Ways You Can Use Incense to Cast a Love Spell

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Use incense to Cast Love Spell

Incense Is an Amazing Tool for Doing Love Spells (or Any Kind of Magic, for That Matter).

Incense is an incredible and often overlooked tool for making some really powerful love magic, either as a support tool when doing a magic spells, or as the focus of the spell itself. If you haven’t been using incense in your love spells, it’s time to get started!

Whether you use stick incense, conessmudge sticks, burn herbs and resins on an incense charcoal or make your own incense by hand, you can harness the power of incense to do some powerful love magic and fragrance your environment at the same time.

Incense Is More Than Just A Pretty Smell

Historically, incense has been used and is still used, for connecting to the heavens. When we do magic, whether that is a formal magical spell or simply wanting to set a powerful intention, it can supercharge our work when we connect to this divine energy.

Incense Helps Us To Focus Intentions In A Ritualistic Way

You have to do certain steps to burn incense. Just doing those steps can take us out of our day-to-day consciousness and put us into a ritual space and that alone can empower our intention. The ritual of lighting incense brings us into the mindful present.

There Are Different Types of Incense You Can Use for Your Love Magic

Incense sticks, cones, loose incense and herbal incense all have different levels of you “being on board” for the mindful present. Some are very involved, with multiple conscious steps that you have to do. Making your own natural incense from scratch, for example, or lighting an incense charcoal and then choosing herbs to burn for a certain magical outcome are both very crafty and intense. Other ways, like lighting an incense cone or stick, are super simple.

There’s no judging here. It’s not like the harder one is the better one or the easy one is wimping out. This isn’t incense boot camp! If you ask any experienced magical worker (myself included) what we do, we kind of use what’s needed in the moment. Sometimes we want to put a ton of focus, personalization and work into our spells and other times, we may not want to be so fussy about the things that we are doing for the spell and simply focus on the intention.

There is no right or wrong way and no form of incense is better than another. They just are different tools for different purposes. So, listen to your inner voice. If you feel like using a simpler incense, then trust that that is what is correct. If you feel like getting fancy with it, then go for the more complex incense. Trust your gut that you will know what is right for each spell or intention.

So, What Are the Different Ways That You Can Use Incense in a Love Spell?

First, you can use incense to imbue a space with a sexy, passionate energy. When you burn incense in a room, or even in an outdoor area, you can not only fill that space with some beautifully fragrant scents, you can also fill it with your intention for romance.

For example, you might want to burn a love incense in your bedroom. Say a prayer, spell or intention for the kind of love that you want to bring into your bedroom and then let the incense spread that intention all over. When you burn this scented smoke and let it permeate the rugs, curtains, furniture and walls of your space, you are literally infusing your bedroom with your intention for love. When you, or anyone else, smell the scent or touch something that the smoke has touched, you are coming in direct contact with your intention.

Use Incense to Clear Out Old, Stuck Energy and Make Way for a Fresh Start

You can not only use incense for bringing in something that is wanted, but you can also use it for clearing out and cleansing a space of unwanted energies. If there was an argument in a room, for example, or you are ready to clear the old memories of your horrible ex out of your house, you can burn a cleansing incense like camphorlemon verbenasage or rue to clear the space and create a fresh new start.

Use It to Set a New Intention for Love

Another way to use incense spiritually is during prayer or when setting intentions for love. Create a small ritual where you light a special love incense and speak your prayers or intentions and watch as the smoke carries those words skyward. This kind of spell work is one of the oldest rituals for connecting with sky deity energies and we still see it used today in many religions.

Smudge Yourself to Clear Off Your Love Funk and Bring in the Magnetism

Another way to work with incense is to smudge yourself using a smudge stick or incense stick. Smudging is perfect if you feel like you have old issues that prevent you from having love in your life or can’t let go of an ex and want to give yourself an incense “bath.” Alternatively, if you would like to create a glamorous magic attraction aura around yourself before you go out, then smudging can also do the trick.

Either have yourself, or someone else, hold the incense stick or smudge stick a few inches away from your body and move it around the space around your body (your auric field). Use a free hand to wave the smoke toward your body. I recommend pushing the smoke upward if you’re bringing in something good or pushing it downward if you’re clearing out something negative.

Bless a Magic Love Charm With Incense

By the same token, you can also use incense to bless, cleanse or feed magical objects, particularly ones that you can’t wash or bless with liquids.  Maybe you are sending a letter to someone and you’d like to charge it with a love spell that will enchant them as soon as they touch it. Wave the letter through the smoke of a love incense before you send it. Simply, say your spell words or your wishes as you move the paper through the fragrant smoke. Or, if you have a special piece of jewelry that you would like to turn into a love charm to make yourself more enchanting, wave it through the smoke of an incense that will bring in more attraction.

Burn Incense While Doing Other Kinds of Spellwork

You can also light incense to give some spiritual juice to your other spellwork and give some oomph to your love magic.  Imagine making your own handmade love incense cones and then lighting and burning them before you begin doing a love candle spell. That extra enhancing vibration going on in the background while you’re doing your spell work will give huge energetic support to your intention. It’s such an easy thing to do, and will totally amp up and focus your spells.

Use Incense as a Divination Tool

Another amazing thing that you can do with incense is to use it as a divination tool itself. Capnomancy is the art of divination through reading smoke and incense smoke is perfect for this. You can ask a question, then light some special relationship incense and look to see what symbolic shapes you see in the smoke as it rises. It’s such a slow, beautiful and trance-inducing way to do a reading.

Another version of smoke reading is to get a white china plate and move it around over the incense smoke and then, after about a minute or so, turn the plate over and look for the symbolic shapes left in the smoke patterns on the plate. Both of these are a lot like tea leaf reading, so if you want to know what certain symbolic shapes mean, you can look up tea leaf reading symbols to guide you.

Enter Into Altered States of Reality With Incense

The last way to magically use incense that I want to share with you, is to use incense smoke to enter altered states of reality. The smoke from whole herbs such as wormwood, mugwortfrankincensecalamusdamiana, and myrrh can be burned on an incense charcoal to enter into altered states of consciousness for spiritual work. For love spells, you can also mix these herbs with love herbs such as sandalwood and patchouli and get into altered states of reality that may give you deep spiritual insights into your love life.

Incense is such an easy and incredibly powerful method to make magic in your life and there is so much to discover. Check out my podcast to learn a whole lot more about the history of magical incense and all the ways you can use it in your spellwork including a method for making a smokeless incense.

Whatever magic you do, bring incense into the mix and amp up the power and the beautiful scents in your life.

This article was written by Madame Pamita and was published on YourTango and Medium.

Are you ready to amp up your incense magic? Check out these complete incense spell kits.

66 Exciting Ways You Can Meet New People (Maybe Even Your Soulmate)

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Meet Your Soulmate

Meeting New People Doesn’t Have to Be Scary

Learning how to meet new people or make new friends can seem challenging, especially after  moving to a new city or when an intense relationship ends.

But jumpstarting your social networking career is easy when you know what activities to choose and where to look to meet people out in the world instead of just through a computer.

While online friends can be great, meeting people IRL makes you feel loved and cherished in a way that even a thousand social media “likes” can’t compete with.

To understand how to meet new people, you have to be willing to put yourself out into the flow of life and open up multiple opportunities for you to make new friends so that your true love (or new bestie!) can cross paths.

So, What Are Some Ways to Meet New People?

If you think meeting someone new just means going to a bar or club or going online, you haven’t even scratched the surface.

Yes, you could do those things if they feel good to you. But if you’d like to try something else, there are a million (okay, sixty-six) places you probably haven’t thought of where you can meet people.

Start by Doing Something That Interests You

If you’re curious about something and you meet someone while doing that thing, then you already have a shared interest in common.

But what if you don’t know what that thing could be?

Meeting someone while doing something fun is a great starting point for you to brainstorm activities that intrigue you and also put you into a social flow.

You don’t even have to be super outgoing to try it.

It can sometimes feel overwhelming when you go to do a new social thing. “Do I really have to introduce myself to all these new people?” 

The answer is no! If you just make an effort to introduce yourself to the people who organize the groups or events, you are connecting with the key people who can introduce you to others.

Make Sure You Try Out Different Things

You don’t have to stick with something that isn’t working for you. Try out a variety of activities, organizations, and groups and check with yourself to see if they feel good.

Just stick with those activities and people that truly make you happy.

Doing social things that you love will put you in the right place for meeting new people and create the opportunity for your perfect person (maybe even your soulmate) to come to you.

66 Awesome Ways You Can Meet New People

1. Volunteering: This is a great way to meet people and do something good at the same time.

2. Language school: Take a class to learn a new language. Talking to the other students is encouraged and is a definite plus.

3. Walking/hiking groups: The Sierra Club and other hiking groups help you to get fit, see nature, and meet new people.

4. Voluntourism: (Tourism + volunteering) Go and do good, plus get some travel adventures!

5. Meetups: Go to to find gatherings of like-minded folks; there are so many options and interests.

6. Evening classes: Taking a class at your community college is great because you can always talk about the class, teacher, or the subject you’re studying.

7. Conventions: If you have a special interest, there is probably a convention to go along with it, and it’s a great way to meet someone into many similar topics.

8. Traditional trade school: It’s a great place to learn new skills and meet like-minded people.

9. Alternative trade school: Check out Trade School, a unique site for unusual classes that you pay for via barter.

10. Improv classes: You will learn to interact with people, and that makes it easy to talk, plus you’ll learn something fun.

11. Teach a class: If you have expertise in a skill, teach a class in your community and you’ll meet tons of people.

12. Gyms/pools/tennis courts: There are places to get fit and have fun with others, join a class or a club.

13. Church/temple/mosque/etc.: Religious gatherings are welcoming and a great place to meet people with similar beliefs.

14. Travel: Staying in hostels is a great way to meet other solo travelers. You can also find travel groups and build friendships that way.

15. Run/bike/swim clubs: Running, biking, swimming, trying for a triathlon… There are plenty of outdoor activities you can sign up for.

16. Whiskey/wine/beer tasting events: Meet like-minded enthusiasts of your fave libation.

17. Adult sports leagues: Roller derby, softball, kickball, volleyball, frisbee golf, you name it, there’s a place to do it.

18. Yacht and country clubs: Not all are expensive, and they can have extra social activities to join in.

19. Community choir: Join a church or community choir to get in tune with some others.

20. Work happy hour: Bond with coworkers, and they may introduce you to their friends.

21. Dancing: There are a wide variety of dance styles. Take lessons if you are shy about getting on the dance floor.

22. Game stores: If you’re interested in board games, card games, D&D, or other RPGs, you can go to events and play together.

23. Bookstores: There are readings, writers’ groups, and other events you can join in on.

24. Comic book stores: There are lots of gatherings for those who love comics, manga, and graphic novels.

25. Community garden: Get your own plot or volunteer to help someone else with theirs.

26. Toastmasters: Improve your public speaking in an environment that is both friendly and supportive.

27. Makerspaces: People get together to share tools, a workspace, and ideas in an informal learning setting.

28. Libraries: They often have free classes, book clubs, readings, lectures, concerts, and more.

29. Politics: Get involved with a candidate/cause that you believe in and meet others who do, too.

30. Community service club: Lions, Rotary, Kiwanis, etc. have social activities and do good.

31. Fraternal organizations: Check out lodges like Eagles, Moose, etc. and see the requirements to join.

32. Discount activities: Groupon, LivingSocial, Travelzoo, and Goldstar have events at a discount; check out their group activities pages.

33. Art museums/galleries: Classes, social groups, volunteer/docent programs and openings.

34. Shared living/roommates: Open your home to new people and make new friends.

35. Co-op grocery stores: Volunteer to work at a co-op grocery store to meet new neighbors.

36. Yoga: A class, sport, and spiritual path all in one! It’s great for meeting people who are health and spirit-conscious.

37. Martial arts classes: Learn to protect yourself and interact and bond with students at the same time.

38. Dog parks: Take your dog and meet other dog lovers. Go at different times of the day.

39. Alumni associations: You can meet people from your college in whatever city you live.

40. Social media: You can use social media to check out what events your friends are attending and meet them there.

41. Theater groups: Perfect for singers, actors, or artsy-crafty backstage people.

42. Neighborhood social networks: Groups organized around your neighborhood or community, like NextDoor.

43. Hyper-local events: Find a local coffee house, restaurant, or store close to home and become a regular.

44. Get to know your neighbors: Meet the old-fashioned way and interact online to enhance the relationship.

45. Twelve-step meetings: If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you can meet people who will support you in your journey.

46. Farmers markets: Farmers markets are much more social than a regular market. Talk to the sellers or other shoppers.

47. Blind dates: Ask people who know you and your likes/dislikes to set you up on a blind date.

48. Sporting events: Football, baseball, tennis, golf, hockey — smaller events are more intimate.

49. Retreats: Find others who are into meditation, yoga, spirituality, writing, or self-help.

50. Restaurants: Eat at restaurants that have community tables so that you can start up a conversation.

51. Birthday/holiday parties: Go to friends’ parties to meet new people and widen your social circle.

52. Car club/shows/races: If you are curious or a motor enthusiast, you can meet others, too.

53. Cultural groups: Say it proud! Support and enjoy your culture and meet others who do, too.

54. Private social groups: Some are expensive but hey, it can be cheaper than a matchmaker.

55. Board of a charity: Give back to the community by joining the board of a charity and meet generous, socially conscious people.

56. Host people at your home: Invite friends to dinner and ask them to bring along other people you don’t know.

57. Class reunions: Reconnect with old friends and meet some you may not have met at school.

58. Dog obedience class: Get a better-behaved puppy and meet other dog lovers at the same time.

59. Dog show/cat show/bird show: Meet other animal enthusiasts or get involved and compete.

60. Public transportation: Take public transportation to work or events to meet new people.

61. Free events: Google “Free things to do in (your town)” and see what comes up.

62. Verlocal: Verlocal has a wide array of fun classes in larger cities.

63. Philanthropy: Get involved in raising money for causes you believe in.

64. Board of directors: Get on the board of directors for a company or organization you like.

65. Architectural tours: All big cities have tours showing off their gems. Google “free walking tours” or look for more professional tours.

66. A side hustle: Pick up or create an extra part-time job where you come in contact with the public.

Whatever you do, if you find something new that brings fun into your life and new people into your circle and you will be in the perfect place to bring in your soulmate.

This article was written by Madame Pamita and has also been published on Medium and YourTango.

Do you want to bring in your perfect partner? Do a love spell with a New Love Vigil Candle.

3 Ways To Make Magic Love Potions From Ingredients In Your Kitchen

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Attract Love Into Your Life With Some Fun and Delicious Magic!

Finding love is a magical experience, but sometimes, no matter how hard you try to find your soulmate, you might still need a little nudge of magic to push you both in the right direction.

Witches have long used herbs and other simple ingredients in love spells, and even if you aren’t a witch, you can still craft a simple love potion with a few key ingredients that you probably already have in your kitchen.

Keep Your Witchcraft Simple

Witchcraft spells can seem a little intimidating if you’ve never done them before, but there are ways to keep it simple and easy so that you can craft your love potion with just a little bit of magic and willpower.

In the old days, witches were just herbalists who used the plants around them to make magic. I’ve used herbs in my magic for years, and you can do this, too!

You Can Use Ingredients From Your Kitchen

Believe it or not, you don’t have to go to an occult shop for witchcraft supplies or pick rare herbs at midnight under a full moon (although those are both fun and very magical things to do). There are ingredients that you probably have in your kitchen that you can turn into an authentic love potion right now.

Just like a cup of herbal tea, you can steep herbs and roots to make a delightful drink. The difference between a regular cup of tea and potion, however, is the intention that you put into it.

Three Easy Steps To Make a Kitchen Love Spell

Here are three easy steps even non-witches can use to turn ordinary kitchen ingredients into a potent love spell to help attract your soulmate:

Choose Simple Herbs to Put Into Your Love Spell

There are a couple of special herbs that you can turn into a love potion, and you might be able to find in your kitchen right now. All of these herbs are safe for most people to drink and should not cause any complications (unless you have a specific allergy to any of these).


This is a powerful herb for “heating up” love and luck. Add a whole cinnamon stick to a regular tea, or use it alone to create a potion for a fiery and passionate romance, great chemistry, and luck in love.


Cardamom is an ingredient in most chai recipes. If you have a chai at home, check to see if it has cardamom, or use cardamom alone to make a potion that will make you irresistible to potential lovers.


Fresh or dried ginger root makes a delicious potion and brings spice to a relationship. Ginger is also a powerful herb for protection, so it’s a great choice if you want to protect your love and keep it safe from breakups or other people coming after your lover.

Craft Your Love Spell/Love Potion With Good Intention

  • Start with spring — not purified — water. You don’t have to have a spring in your backyard; spring water can be purchased in bottles and used for the spell.

  • Put your herbs in a teapot or infuser. While you’re waiting for the water to boil, focus on the idea or the “intention” behind your spell.

  • Once your water boils, pour it over the herbs (or pre-bought tea) you chose.

  • (You can drink the tea yourself and attract love into your life. If you’re trying to get a particular person to fall for you, serve the tea to them — hot or iced.)

  • As you do this, say the words of your intention, such as, “I attract the perfect love,” or if you’re planning on serving the tea to a potential lover, “(Name of person) is totally enchanted by me.”

  • While the herbs are steeping, hold your hands over the cup and think about the outcome you’d like for your spell. Lasting love? Fiery passion? Put your will and intention and all the positivity you can into the love spell. Your focus adds extra power to your spell.

  • Visualize your best outcome and how you’d like things to be, not your problems or how things are now.

  • If you want to amp up the sweetness factor of the love you are working toward, try adding honey or some other sweetener to your love potion.

  • Finally, pour the tea into your cup and drink the love potion or serve it to your potential lover.

  • While you drink your tea, close your eyes and feel the power of your spell as it permeates your body.

Visualize the Outcome as You Drink Your Tea

The moment when you drink your tea — or your potential lover does — take some time to visualize the love spell moving throughout your body or theirs.

What you drink or eat ultimately becomes part of you, so the positive intentions that you put into your spell are going to be completely integrated into the physical experience of drinking and enjoying the tea.

Get Creative With Your Magic Potion

You can use these herbs by themselves, alongside other herbs or teas, or blend them together for a truly delicious and powerful potion.

If you want to attract a love into your life, these simple steps to create a love spell or potion will serve you well, whether you have experience with witchcraft or not. Craft these spells with love and good intention, making sure to harm none!

This article was written by Madame Pamita and was published on YourTango and Medium.

Get a Custom Herbal Tea Spell from Madame Pamita.